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~ by maeve smith

well said.

Category Archives: Uncategorized

“Slow down, you move too fast, you got to make the morning last. Just kicking down the cobble stones, looking for fun and feelin’ groovy.” -Simon and Garfunkel

13 Wednesday Jul 2016

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Summer Short

Happy Summer!  I know, I know, I’ve been away a long time. Many have asked where I’ve been?  I’ve been here, just really busy etc.. Blah, blah, blah. Yada, yada, yada. Whatever. But I’m back!  With some new, shorter (!) pieces, I’m calling, “Summer Shorts.”

I will try to write one a day but let’s not count on that, ok?  Don’t hold me to it.  It’s summer and there is lots of nothing that need to get done and if not by me, than who?

Without further adieu, here is the first Summer Short.  Speaking of being busy….
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“Love is our true destiny. We do not find the meaning of life by ourselves alone. We find it with another.” – Thomas Merton

30 Sunday Nov 2014

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meaning of life

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It is official. I did not get the happy ending I wanted.

This is what I am thinking as I sit in the front pew of my husband’s funeral in the church I have been coming to my entire life, my two young children on either side of me. I am thinking that my guiding principle, the one that gets me up and out of bed every morning, that life was fair and that in the end, if you worked hard enough, loved hard enough, and believed hard enough that you would get your happy ending, was untrue. That belief was shattered on the worst day ever.

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“Raisin cookies that look like chocolate chip cookies are the main reason I have trust issues.”

05 Sunday Oct 2014

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trust

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Years ago when my kids were much younger and not the experienced gourmet diners that their privileged life has since afforded them, I made some fish and told them it was chicken so they would try it. I still hear about this travesty of trust ad nauseam and apparently I, not their first girlfriend or boyfriend who breaks their heart, will be the first person they will mention in therapy one day when discussing their “trust issues” with the therapist …”it all started when I was 6 and my mother served me fish and told me it was chicken! And don’t get me started on the tooth fairy!”
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“The most difficult times for many of us are the ones we give ourselves.” – Pema Chodron

28 Sunday Sep 2014

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addiction

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I

I am one of those people who hires a contractor to tile my bathroom remodel and ends up with a spiritual guru in disguise with whom I end up having daily, hour long conversations about life as he grouts and I make myself comfortable sitting on our shiny new Kohler commode which is conveniently sitting just outside the bathroom. I always find spiritual gurus in the the least likely of physical bodies. I think they like to hide like that, not drawing too much attention to themselves spreading light and wisdom in small doses. Not every spiritual guru can write a best seller and appear on Oprah.
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“The truth will set you free, but first it will piss you off.” – Gloria Steinem

18 Thursday Sep 2014

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friendship, truth

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I have this friend. This friend doesn’t want to be my friend anymore. Maybe hasn’t for awhile. But I didn’t really want to see this truth because as I have mentioned previously, I don’t like to give up on things or people that I love. And I love this friend. I want this friend in my life even though my arm is tired from holding the door open hoping that this friend will walk through. Even though this friend is giving me nothing but crumbs here and there. Even though this friend is really no friend at all anymore. The truth of it is simple. It’s not easy.
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“We are all in this together.” – Winston Churchill

11 Thursday Sep 2014

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9/11, grief

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My daughter was born on the exact right month to be exactly 2 1/2 years old on her first day of pre-school. You have to be 2 1/2 to start the “2’s” class and this she was exactly. By luck, because unlike more forward-thinking mothers who actually plan their child’s conception around the most advantageous time to start school, my daughter’s conception was a “happy accident.”

I can remember that night as clearly as I can remember that morning dropping her off a pre-school virgin on September 11, 2001. Some moments are etched into your brain permanently – no matter how hard you try to shake them away, the aluminum powder stays coated to the glass. Some of them good, some of the bad. Permanent etch-0-sketch.
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“I, too, am a brief and passing thing.” – Shantideva

24 Tuesday Jun 2014

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gratitude, summer

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Today is the summer solstice. The longest day of the year is my favorite day of the year. Christmas? maybe when I was 11. Thanksgiving? maybe when I actually ate turkey. My birthday? not since the 10th anniversary of my 29th birthday. But the longest day of the year, in its inconspicuous arrival and departure, is what I await.

I don’t know when I started to sit and watch the sky and the clock on June 21st each year- seeing at what exact moment the sky no longer has any trace of pink or yellow or orange left, the first firefly catches my eye flashing somewhere on the lawn, the lushness and greenness of spring outdone becomes shrouded in shadows, all the while listening to the faint chorus of the June crickets in the background before they really let it rip in July. The first night of summer is tinged with beginnings and the long awaited fulfillment of the promises of April and May. “If a June night could talk, it would probably boast it invented romance.” ( Bern Williams) I now know why there are so many June brides.

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“You have to meet people where they are and love them at the level they can receive it.” – Oprah Winfrey

15 Sunday Jun 2014

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Father's Day, love

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To borrow a description from Bishop Jakes, I am a “10-gallon heart” person. My Dad is a pint-size heart person. It took me a long time to figure that out. It took me a long time to figure out that pint-size love was all he could offer to anyone – even to his children. Until that realization, my relationship with him caused me a lot of pain. He caused me a lot of pain. Lots of sadness. I wanted him to love me like I knew how to love, like I knew I wanted to be loved. I wanted 10-gallon size love from him. I mistakenly thought he was just choosing not to give me all he had. That he was choosing to give me only pint-size love even though he had 10 gallons or so in the fridge that he saved for those worthy of his love. His pint-size love never filled me up, it left me empty, it left me feeling unloved and worse yet, unworthy of his love.

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“Abandon all hope of fruition.” – Lojong slogan*

01 Sunday Jun 2014

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Buddhism, hope

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*Lojong is a mind training practice in the Tibetan Buddhist tradition. The practice involves refining and purifying one’s motivations and attitudes. There are fifty-nine or so slogans that form the root text of the mind training practice which are designed as a set of antidotes to undesired mental habits that cause suffering. They contain methods to expand one’s viewpoint towards absolute bodhicitta – or enlightenment.

This type of slogan is one of the reasons Buddhism suffers from PR problems. Add to that the image of  Buddhists monks donning robes with rope ties, shaving their heads, renouncing sex, vows of silence and meditating all day in abbeys and yeah, it would take the world’s best spinmaster to convince your average joe that Buddhism is truly one of most practical and helpful of all spiritual paths.

Back to the slogan, “Abandon all hope of fruition” or you could just say, “Abandon all hope” or “Give up hope” or more simply, “Give up”. Hopeless, defeatist and depressing? Maybe not. Now I know you are thinking, how is that helpful? How is she going to make this into something positive, uplifting and useful in my life? Maybe she forgot to take her Pollyanna pill this morning. Maybe she meant to say, “Never give up hope!” or something as life affirming. Oh ye of little faith. Stick with me. I promise you, I wouldn’t have it taped to my refrigerator door if it didn’t bring me enormous amounts of peace and sanity on a daily basis. You just have to get past what you think it means. Ok? Because I know you are thinking, “give up hope?” Well that’s just un-American.

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“I want to know the thoughts of God. The rest are details.” -Albert Einstein

18 Sunday May 2014

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meditation



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I am a veteran fall-asleep-after-3-minutes meditator. I’ve got my technique down. A few deep breaths, clearing my mind, clearing my mind, inhale, exhale, inhale, ….20 minutes later I exhale with a snort! Ah,that was an excellent meditation. I find you need to get a good nap in before you meditate so you don’t fall asleep while meditating. Now I can get down to business.

I don’t really know if I am meditating right. Does anyone? Bueller? What does it actually mean to be a good meditator? I don’t think there is any one way or any one correct way. And what exactly are we supposed to be getting from the experience? Pema Chodron says, “We don’t sit in meditation to become good meditators. We sit in meditation so that we’ll be more awake in our lives.” I find that she is right, after I wake up from my nap of course.
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9/11 acceptance addiction aging gracefully Buddhism dreams Father's Day forgiveness friendship gifts gratitude grief happiness hell hope law of attraction love meaning of life meditation Mother's Day patience resentment Suffering summer Summer Short trust truth vulnerability

Recent Posts

  • “Eventually all things merge into one, and a river runs through it.” – Norman Maclean
  • “Let us not seek the Republican answer or the Democratic answer but the right answer. Let us not seek to fix the blame for the past. Let us accept our own responsibility for the future.” John F. Kennedy
  • “To make injustice the only measure of our attention is to praise the devil.” – Jack Gilbert
  • “Diamonds are a girl’s best friend.” – from Gentlemen Prefer Blondes
  • “There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.” – Albert Einstein

Recent Posts

  • “Eventually all things merge into one, and a river runs through it.” – Norman Maclean
  • “Let us not seek the Republican answer or the Democratic answer but the right answer. Let us not seek to fix the blame for the past. Let us accept our own responsibility for the future.” John F. Kennedy
  • “To make injustice the only measure of our attention is to praise the devil.” – Jack Gilbert
  • “Diamonds are a girl’s best friend.” – from Gentlemen Prefer Blondes
  • “There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.” – Albert Einstein

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