I.

Although I was raised having to go to Catholic Mass every week, I do not go nor do I make my children go regularly. In fact, the last time I regularly went to church was probably before I got my driver’s license at age 17 because once I had that baby in the back pocket of my Calvin Kleins, I was able to tell my mother I’d gone to 5 o’clock mass when in fact, I’d gone to get ice cream with some of the other sinners…I mean friends, and walked around town. Someone would go in first and grab some weekly bulletins that I would later unfold from previously mentioned Calvin Klein’s and oh so casually leave on the kitchen table to serve as proof of my attendance. I’m sure I wasn’t fooling my mother but when you have 4 or more kids, which we Catholics were known for back in the day, the ruse was good enough most of the time.
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